Don't Let Viral Gender Reveals Make You Crazy

Truth: There’s a lot of pressure on expecting moms to do the cute pregnancy things that will go viral on social media, but guess what? You’re not required to do anything you don’t feel like doing, and the world will go on. Unfortunately, we are living in an era where if you didn’t record it “it didn’t happen” and if your photo or video didn’t get enough likes, you must’ve done it “wrong.” This pressure to put on a show for your followers carries over into pregnancy and can make you feel like a bad mom if you don’t partake in what’s trending. Here’s my take on it.

Every time you turn around, there’s a new gender reveal that’s gone viral or a compilation of them on Snapchat. When it came time to find out if baby J would be a boy or girl, we were heavily debating whether or not to do a gender reveal party. I felt like it was something we had to do. What would it say about us if we didn’t? Had we thrown in the towel on doing things right even before our first baby was born? People would ask me about it, and I just didn’t know what to say. We didn’t really feel like doing one. We were both so busy with work and tired all the time that throwing in something extra to plan and stress over just didn’t seem feasible or sensible. Why did we feel so pressured to have one in the first place? When we realized it was literally to post a video of a $50 pink or blue confetti popper, we decided against doing a gender reveal. We don’t have anything against gender reveals and might even do one for our next baby in lieu of a huge baby shower. Who knows! The point is, doing it just for the sake of posting it is a huge waste of time and money.

We found out that baby J would be a boy right at our 20-week scan. My husband and mom were there, and I wore blue shorts because I just knew he’d be a boy. We already had names picked out, and I was confident we’d walk out knowing it was Myles Alexander in my belly. Sure enough, the tech pointed to the screen and said “that’s not a third leg…it’s a boy!” We all cried and laughed and it was a beautiful moment shared with close family. We revealed it on social media with a cute photo; actually, it was the first photo I posted on my Instagram (@truthmomblog). My point is, we didn’t need a gender reveal spectacle to make the moment special. It was amazing all on its own simply because we were finding out more about our future baby. We didn’t have a gender reveal that got a million likes, and we lived to tell the tale.

The other big thing we opted out of was a maternity/couple photoshoot. You know, the one where the pregnant lady is wearing some extravagant gown or some silk thing and underwear, and the dad repeatedly caresses the belly. Again, I have nothing against maternity photos. I think they capture such a special moment in time and highlight the beauty and power of expecting moms. Honestly, I wasn’t feeling beautiful or powerful at the time, and there was nothing about my appearance that I wanted to capture for the memory books. I felt huge, annoyed, hot, and even my maternity clothes were too small for me.

If we did take photos, I knew I would cry looking at how big I was, and I started reflecting on why I felt so obligated to do this. I finally gave up on the idea when I accepted that not doing a maternity photoshoot wouldn’t mean that I was any less grateful for the chance to carry a baby, and it wouldn’t mean I loved him any less. I could save a lot of money and discomfort just opting out. So, that’s what we did, and again the world kept spinning. I took my own pictures on my phone when I felt cute, and Mike took my picture every five weeks in the same outfit to see the bump progression. We also have a few nice photos from our baby showers. That was good enough for us! Again, who knows if we’ll do a maternity shoot with our next baby. We might, since that may be our second and last child. The point is that we can do whatever we want, and nothing is required.

If you’re getting sucked into the social media frenzy and the pressure to do every little cute thing that you’re “supposed to do,” take a deep breath and come back to reality. Social media isn’t everything, and if you really don’t care about having a crazy gender reveal or taking $200 maternity photos, don’t! On the other hand, if that’s what you’re into, go for it! Just do it for YOU. It’s that simple. Rest assured you won’t be any less of a mom if you don’t do and post all the things, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t cherishing the experience enough. It’s the bond you are forming with your baby every day you carry them that counts.

#truthmom