The Truth About Pregnancy

Truth: “Routine” pregnancy or high risk, it is hard all the same, and it’s okay if you don’t love being pregnant. Everyone knows about a handful of classic pregnancy symptoms, so it’s easy to expect morning sickness, stretch marks and extreme emotions. However, there are so many more symptoms that I was totally blindsided by, and I would like to call some attention to the wide range of things it is normal to feel while you’re growing a tiny human. Or in my case, a giant human. This is my pregnancy experience.

My very first symptom was more of an instinct that something was off. I felt extremely defensive, on edge and wary of my surroundings at all times. I vividly remember going to Walmart and feeling like I had to watch my back the entire time. I got home and told my husband I didn’t want to go to the store by myself anymore, and he thought it was really weird. It’s hard to explain, but I found out I was pregnant about a week later. As soon as I found out, I realized it must have been my body’s way of telling me to protect this special life starting to grow. Also very early on, I was fatigued. No words can describe how tired I was. I’m not a person that sleeps well or in large quantities. So, when I started falling asleep on the couch at 7 pm every day in the middle of a conversation, I knew something had to be going on.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was very early – four and a half weeks. Around six weeks things had gone totally crazy. I’m really lucky that I didn’t throw up much, but when I tell you I was nauseated all the time, that was not an exaggeration. For about two months all I was eating was Doritos dipped in Tostitos queso (unhealthy, I know), and random stuff like applesauce or Saltines. When I did puke, it was at night. For those of you out there who think it’s just morning sickness, it’s seriously ALL DAY. I ended up losing 10 pounds in the first trimester because I couldn’t stomach even the thought of food. Don’t get me started on specific food aversions. I couldn’t eat, smell or look at chicken until I was almost 4 months pregnant, and even then it had to be fried and seasoned beyond recognition. Before I was pregnant, we had stopped eating red meat and were just eating turkey. Well, that went out the window! Turkey tasted and smelled too much like bird for me to even be in the same room with it.

Along with nausea came a lot of random gagging. My sister worked at a retirement home, and they were having this cute ceremony for all the seniors leaving for college. It was so hot and smelly in there. I made it through the ceremony, but once we were in the lobby taking pictures at the reception, I was DYING. Mike and I quickly made it to the nearest exit and found a trash can, and I immediately started dry heaving into it. As soon as I picked my head up, I saw a huge charter bus right in front of me and a line of seniors boarding and staring at me totally shaking their heads. Then, my whole family decided to leave also and saw me. You guys, it was so embarrassing!

Needless to say, like everything else in life, the nausea passed. Thank goodness. I was well into my second trimester, and I had gotten my energy and appetite back. I was trying to eat more so I could gain back some of the weight I lost, but my body was holding out at a certain weight. I was stressed that my baby would be too small, so I was keeping track of everything I ate to make sure I was getting enough nutrients.

During the second trimester, I was doing okay, but I had a lot of joint pain, “air hunger” (apparently it’s normal to constantly feel short of breath while pregnant) and really weird, vivid nightmares. I was also on pelvic rest (no exercise, lifting, sex) for almost that entire trimester due to placenta previa; my placenta was underneath the baby, too close to my cervix, which can cause dangerous bleeding. That was scary, but I was glad I could keep getting ultrasounds to check it and see my baby more often. It finally resolved on its own around 25-26 weeks. Around the same time, I started gaining weight and life was good. For like five minutes.

The third trimester hit me like a ton of bricks. I once again had no energy, but I was also nesting. I would be laying there like a beached whale then all of a sudden have a NEED to clean everything in my house. My husband had to pry the dust buster out of my hands to get me to take a break. The joy I got out of cleaning the stove was ridiculous, but hey, our house was ready. I had a pre-term labor scare around 29 weeks. I had a ton of cramping and pressure, and my doctor was very concerned. My mom picked me up from work and we rushed in there, and it turned out I just needed to rest and hydrate. I took a day off work then was back in action.

One of the worst things about the third trimester was sleep. I would wake up to pee. I would wake up every time I had to roll over because it was so painful. I would wake up at every little noise. There was no solid sleep. The skin on my stomach hurt. It was stretched thin and painful to the touch. I made it to nine months without stretch marks, but when my baby dropped, they appeared all over my lower belly. I actually couldn’t even see them until I took a picture from a low angle and cried over it! I was swollen all over, too. My feet and legs were especially bad, and I would have the imprints of my clothes in them for hours after getting home.

I was so giant and waddle-y that everyone was saying I would have my baby early. I could breathe and gain 5lbs. At 36 weeks, I had a conference for work and had contractions the whole time. They were really long days followed by dinners, and everyone was just waiting for my water to break right there in one of the sessions. My very last day of work was the day before Thanksgiving, and I was having contractions that day as well. I thought it would be so perfect to leave and go right into labor. Nope!

When I stopped having the stress of work, my baby nestled in, head right in my crotch, and hunkered down. PAST his due date! I was so upset I was still pregnant. My husband and I would go to BJs Wholesale Club and walk the entire store. I would have contractions, but they would always stop once I relaxed. I bounced on a ball. We walked all of Ikea for two hours with my mom. Still nothing. After I hit 40 weeks, I couldn’t walk. It felt like a bowling ball was pressing on any important organ that I had. I would only get up to use the bathroom and move from the couch to the bed. I was beyond ready to be done and so jealous of everyone that wasn’t pregnant! I was 3 cm dilated and set to be induced on 10 December 2019. We were anxiously counting down the days, and when it finally came, I really didn’t care what happened, as long as this baby came out healthy.

Reflecting on the whole experience, I really hated being pregnant. And that’s okay. Not everyone loves it and feels like they’re glowing. The magical part really lied in the baby kicks and the wonder of who your child may be. Feeling the movement was amazing. You feel flutters, then full on dance parties. They respond to your touch and you and your partner’s voices. You can even see them from the outside toward the end! I also loved daydreaming about what he’d look like based on his ultrasounds and what he would be like. It’s beautiful to create a life and feel that closeness. Everything else, I could’ve done without. But would I do it again? Absolutely.

Pregnant moms, hang in there. Do the best you can. I really thought I’d be eating all organic and be in tip top shape the whole time, but I never worked out and ate chips and queso because that’s all I could handle. And guess what? That’s okay! If you don’t love being pregnant, that’s okay! Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, get your rest, and you will get through it. It will be so worth it.

#truthmom