Birth Story - Part 1

Truth: The day I gave birth was not the best day of my life. Meeting my son was the happiest moment of my life, but the day as a whole was full of mixed emotions, especially fear. I feel like I have to emotionally recover from birth just as much as I am still physically recovering. Some of this is hard to write, but I'm excited to share so expecting moms can learn about the process and feel less like deer in the headlights when they arrive at the hospital.

The Anticipation

Every pregnant mama looks forward to their due date. I had a countdown on my phone and all that jazz, but my due date was extremely anti-climactic. It came and went, and I was still pregnant! My doctor decided I could be induced five days past my due date. Induction is probably the best way for an anxious planner like me to have a baby, even though I felt a little bit like a failure for not going into labor on my own. I knew what date he’d be born, I knew where to go, and I knew what time to get there. Still, I was terrified. I hardly slept the night before and cried like a baby while getting ready. My husband and I got to the hospital before 6 am and headed to meet my mom in the lobby. I was shaking walking in.

Getting Admitted

When I was admitted, they brought me to a room and asked me to change into a hospital gown. This is when it started getting real. A labor and delivery nurse came to start my paperwork and ask me a million questions. They took my blood and started an IV and fetal monitor, which showed I was already having contractions even without any medication. I started to ease up once the IV was finished and we got to talking with the nurse. We were joking and laughing and the mood lightened. My mom and my husband each had a comfy seat, and we were settling in for a crazy, exciting day. I was slowly surrendering to whatever would happen that would allow me to meet my healthy baby boy.

L&D Nurse

Then, the nurses changed shifts, and the nice nurse who checked me in bowed out to make way for the nurse that would be with me all day. This is something a lot of people don’t tell you, by the way. Your doctor makes a few appearances over the course of your labor and delivery, but the nurse is the main person who will be interacting with and caring for you. Unfortunately, this nurse was not nearly as nice. She walked in and rudely took the puke bag out of my hands, saying I didn’t need that because I hadn’t even had any medication yet. (I had been feeling so nauseous due to nerves, contractions, pregnancy in general.) That wasn’t a great start, but I brushed it off. She started to fill out the white board on the wall and asked me what level of pain I was willing to feel during the process; I told her a 4. Her exact words were “you’re going to have to feel more than that.” I had been very vocal from the minute I arrived about wanting an epidural as soon as I could have one. I repeated this to her and she brushed me off and left the room. I started feeling very uneasy again.

Pitocin & Contractions

Pitocin is a drug that mimics the hormone oxytocin and causes contractions. By this time, it was about 8:00 am. Things were still going fine, and I was optimistic even with the nurse’s crappy attitude. My doctor came in to check me. I was dilated to 3.5 cm, and he confirmed we were ready to start the Pitocin. The cervical check in the hospital was SO much more painful than the checks he had done in the office. It lasted longer too, probably because he didn’t have to worry about putting me into labor like he would’ve at a regular appointment. I told them that I wanted the epidural before the next check so that I didn’t have to feel it.

Even with the Pitocin going, my contractions weren’t strong, so the nurse came back to crank it up every 15 minutes. After about an hour and a half, I was in excruciating pain. I was trying to breathe through the contractions like we had learned in birth class. Michael was holding my hand and my mom was watching the monitor going, “Wow, Natalie, that was a BIG one!” I asked for the epidural and my nurse said we could put in for it soon.

Breaking My Water

After a couple more Pitocin increases, my doctor came back to check me and break my water. I was really upset because I knew for a fact I did NOT want to feel that, and I was starting to feel like everything was out of my control. No one was listening to what I had wanted. However, I wanted my labor to keep progressing, so I let him check me and break my water. To break your water, they insert a long stick with a hook on the end through your cervix and into your uterus, hook the amniotic sac, and pull so that it bursts. This was so incredibly painful. By that time I was crying. The gush of water is something I could never have prepared for! Every time I moved, it would just gush out, and it was really warm. I was wondering how much was in there, because it honestly felt like gallons just pouring out. There was a little bit of relief in my belly though, like all of a sudden my skin wasn’t stretched as tight as before.

Once my water was broken, my contractions came back to back and were so intense. I wasn’t even getting a break between them anymore. I was 5.5 cm and was insisting that I NEEDED these drugs! I was in tears and trying my best to breathe through the pain, but this was like nothing I had ever experienced before. (Disclaimer: A lot of people have told me it was probably worse because of all the Pitocin, so I can’t speak to whether or not this pain would’ve been the same if I had gone drug-free.) My nurse said, fine, she could put in for the epidural but I would have to have a certain amount of IV fluids before they could give it to me. At this point, I was livid. I had had an IV this entire time and been asking for the epidural. Couldn’t she have done that the first three times I’d asked? She hung the fluid bag and said the anesthesiologist would arrive soon. She came back again before the anesthesiologist arrived. I asked when he’d get there, and she just said she didn’t know. It felt like forever before he came in, and I was so relieved to see him.

Next week I will finish my birth novel, I mean story, and give you the details on getting the epidural and finally meeting my babe.

#truthmom